In honour of Jeff Rubin, who keeps running tabs on incorrectly-punctuated signs, I am going to show you my least favourite mis/use of punctuation:
Oh my gosh! Is it ten-thirty already?! Have I slept in!?! Oh no!! I was going to try and be up in time for Regis!!! I always think that today will be the day he is going to call me, and I will have a chance to win the on-air contest!! Can you imagine?! What would I do with seven days on an island resort?! My GOD! Think of it! I mean THINK...OF...IT!!!
I phoned my mother this morning, but she was at the doctor's. I hope nothing is wrong! She had an ingrown hair last week, but I thought she had taken care of it! I wonder if my father is at work yet, so I can call him. I don't want to worry him, though! He has enough...I mean ENOUGH...on his plate. Just last week one of his tires blew out in the driveway!!! We were so scared -- until we realized that we had a jack in the garage!!
My boyfriend isn't always very nice to me -- although I want to keep that a secret between you and me! PLEASE. Don't tell him what I said!! He would kill me!!! I mean KILL ME!! Just last week he dropped one of my books on the way home! I told him he shouldn't carry so many on one arm, but would he listen?! No way!!!!! I told him if he wasn't careful there were lots of other boys who would like to help me!! He was SO mean to me! Do you know what he said? "Name two!" NAME TWO!!! Imagine!
Well, I have to go now. My homework is piling up and the teacher -- she is SO SO mean! -- told me she might fail me -- FAIL ME!!! -- if I couldn't pull my mark up above a D-!!! WOW. Where do they get off?!?! Anyways, what do I care? My daddy is president of the university, so we'll just see about that!!!
Have a nice day!!!!!
