I was scouring the Internet for serving scoops (don't ask), when I thought I'd try craigslist. Lo and behold, as I searched the various categories wondering where I would find smallwares (as they are apparently called), I came upon a selection where people can air their beefs.
The beef I am reprinting here caught my eye -- perhaps not exactly for all of the reasons the writer intended, but nevertheless...
After wading through the blue language, the rage, and the grammar and spelling mistakes, I thought...there might be several good reasons -- reasons other than rude women and traffic jams -- that cause this man his loneliness.
Anyway, apart from minor interpretation and commentary, I will let you be the judge of that. I have highlighted catchy language in blue; sentences that struck me -- for whatever reasons -- in bold, and highlighted interesting spelling and punctuation choices in pink.
Prepare yourselves.
From craigslist:
WHAT THE F*** ever happened to common courtesy?
I have no idea what its is with people these days. Cutting you off in traffic, cutting in front of you in line, lack of manners at a restaurant table and the list goes on and on... The one thing that really pisses me off though today is some women's lack of respect for some males feelings or just straight up being a complete b**** without realizing it. Take this for example, I met this girl a while ago through a friend at a party. Thing seemed great in my opinion; I had her laughing at my jokes, we would fill in each other sentences..._all the cute shit that you would normally get a conversation thats going well. So at the end of the night I have to take off, things seem good. I give her a hug goodnight and ask if she wants to meet up some time for drinks or for coffee some time. She replies quickly with a "yes definately!" We exchange numbers and we part our separate ways. A couple of day later I make a phone call to her, we arrange to meet at a local coffee shop at a specified time. I got there and waited 45 min before arriving at the conclusion that she wasn't coming. I received a phone call later that evening from her with some b*** sh*** story about a family emergency. I figured since I don't know her that well and she had the decency to call me; that she was being honest. We rescheduled for a different day. This continued a couple times; something came up at the last minute or how "she was busy at work" when she previously told me at the party she's unemployed. After 3 [you know the rule: if it's under ten, write it out...] tries I gave up that girl, a month or two later I saw her with this f***ing d*****-bag i knew which she said quote: " is a total p***k"... I said nothing. Sadly this isn't the first time this has happened to me; I had another incident with a girl I met through work. Same old story with the laughing etc. I ask her if she wanted to grab drinks after work on saturday, she said "yes for sure." I gave her my number and when i asked for hers this as the response I got: "Um, i don't like; have my cell with me right now." So i figured F*** THAT B****, I MEAN HOW THE F*** DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OWN F***ING CELL PHONE NUMBER? [He hasn't met me.] Eh? I mean i don't know what it is, are you women trying to be polite? Are you trying to not hurt peoples feelings? Are you intimidated? F***!!! I MEAN I CAN TAKE REJECTION, I'M PROUD TO SAY THAT I CAN TAKE REJECTION WELL, I'M PROBABLY ONE OF THE ONLY GUYS OUT THERE WHO THINK ITS A CONFIDENCE BOOST. IT HELP BUILD CHARACTER FOR C***ST SAKE!!! AND LADIES_ BY ALL MEANS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DATE MYSELF OR SOME OTHER GUY, TELL HIM FLAT OUT "NO!!!" I CAN GET OVER IT_ AND I'M SURE 93% OF MOST GUYS OUT THERE CAN GET OVER IT_ TOO!!! F***, THINK ABOUT IT; YOU'D BE DOIN SOCIETY A FAVOR BY: BEING POLITE ABOUT IT (ITS MORE POLITE IN THE FIRST PLACE), BEING DIRECT WITH THE PESRON, AND YOU HAVE THE SATISFACTION THAT THE PERSON WILL NOT BUG YOU AGAIN... If there's one thing I can do to leave my mark, I hope that this was it...
~
A person hardly knows where to begin -- the comma splices; possessives; contractions; spelling errors; reflexives; subject/verb disagreement; tense -- and I mean tense -- problems; redundancies; saturated hyperbole; the hurling epithets; the profanity; the illogic; the rage, the rage, the rage.
Although the leaving off part isn't difficult at all.
Blue moon, you saw me standing alone...
<:^)
