Joan Rivers, reiterating what she claims is a quote from The New York Times, stated on The View today that a teaspoon of sperm contains 48 calories.
If you scour (or even just skim and scan) the Internet, you will see that there are variances, one site nevertheless reassuring us that a person would have to engage in 400 sperm aperitifs for the calories to equal one piece of artery-clogging chocolate cake. (Given the gallons of Pepsi I have swallowed in my lifetime, 48 calories doesn’t seem that threatening.)
Mind you, sperm has never been high on my list of delectables, not even in the days when I played in that sandbox. And I am not the only woman who shares these sentiments. In fact, I am home today waylaid by a cold, and just writing the word sperm is compromising my gag-response time.
Anyway, in case any of you might be interested in foods that are valued at under 50 calories, I have culled a short list, along with a preamble, from the Internet:
All foods contain calories. A calorie is simply a method to measure the energy contained in food as well as the energy released in our body. One calorie is the quantity of energy required to raise the one gram of water’s temperature by one degree centigrade. Even though calorie is not considered a nutrient, there are some nutrients that supply calories. Calorie content in a food is made up of protein, fat, and carbohydrates, all of which are burned when used in the body in order to transform it into energy. This in turn is actually known as calories. In short, if you know the amount of fats, carbohydrates, and proteins a food contain, you could easily calculate the amount of calories contained in this particular food.
Calorie, as it is fondly referred to, is technically known as kilocalorie. Majority of the food labels contain the amount of calories. However, when you calculate its amount via multiplying the grams of fat, proteins, and carbohydrates, you may get a different amount. Foods with less than 50 calories are regarded as the five calorie increment, and foods consisting of more than 50 calories are taken as the ten calorie increment.
Taken from: http://www.myfit.ca/nutrition/calories-in-food-how-many.asp
Foods containing fewer than 50 calories
Asparagus
Fennel *
Aubergine *
Gourd *
Broccoli
Leek
Cabbage *
Lettuce *
Carrots
Marrow *
Cauliflower
Peppers
Celery *
Radish *
Chicory *
Spinach
Cress *
Tomato *
Cucumber *
Turnip
Apricot
Mandarin orange
Blackberry *
Melon
Canteloupe *
Blackcurrant
Peaches
Clementines
Plums
Damsons
Raspberry *
Grapefruit
Rhubarb **
Guava *
Strawberry
Honeydew Melon
Tangerine
Lemon *
Watermelon
* indicates very good negative calorie foods
** Indicates excellent negative calories but stewed without added sugar
The above items were lifted from http://www.weightlossforall.com/negative-calorie-foods-list.htm#ixzz13ZgwzWKU
1 cup of fresh Asparagus – 36
1 cup of raw bean sprouts – 37
1 cup of cooked broccoli – 40
1 cup of cooked cabbage – 31
1 cup of cooked carrot – 45
1 cup of boiled cauliflower – 28
3 small stalks of celery – 10
1 cup of fresh collards - 42
1 cup of boiled eggplant – 38
1 clove of garlic – 4
1 cup of boiled green beans – 31
1 green pepper of about 1/5 pound – 16
1 cup of fresh Kale – 43
1 cup of chopped mushrooms – 20
1 cup of fresh mustard greens – 32
10 large green Olives – 45
10 medium radishes – 8
1 cup of fresh spinach – 14
1 raw tomato – 26
1 cup of fresh turnip greens – 29
My final thought in all of this?
If caloric calculation is not your thing, the best way to look at the whole conundrum might be like this:
Standing at the sink washing dishes burns approximately 50 calories. Swallowing sperm is also worth about 50 calories, but on the plus side (no pun intended).
So, if every time you go that hairy (as in risky…shame on you!) route, wash a few dishes. You won’t lose extra weight, but at least your hands will be clean.
