I am sitting here with an Oscar voting sheet by my side, feeling helpless. (Me, not the sheet…although I shouldn’t speak for anyone else.)
I am scanning the list to see which movies are familiar, astonished that I seem to know more of the animated films (more being two) than any of the others on the list. (And I say astonished because, before Lainey, animated features were an anathema to me.)
So…let’s see. What do I think about the little I know?
Inception: full of holes – plot and otherwise, although Leonard is ever handsome, even more so as he ages.
The Kids Are All Right: in many ways, a clichéd script that pandered, although I thought Mark Ruffalo was excellent, just as he is in everything.
The Social Network: still haven’t seen it; still makes me anxious every time I see the title. But I know someone is getting screwed, and the sad fact is, we will never know, exactly, who.
The Fighter: even when they’re great, fight films and people getting punched elude me. (And oh, the retinal detachments.) Probably has something to do with my childhood and Dorothy.
127 Hours: are you out of your mind? If a movie about Facebook is too much for me, imagine what watching a man saw off his arm does to a person. Oh my God. Never.
The King’s Speech: saw it, loved it, think it will be, in some (but not all) ways, overlooked.
True Grit: I know I ought to see it, and although I loved oaters when I was a kid, I have more trouble sidling up to a horse now that I am older than a kid.
Alice in Wonderland: thought the cast superb, and find it comical that none of the actors were nominated, especially given the praise lavished on two of the leads for other roles. Johnny Depp broke my heart. (But that’s madness for you, and he does madness so well.)
Black Swan: intend to go tonight, although I wonder if Natalie Portman is going to seem like a parody of herself (as herself in the role, but not as herself, although…if you take my meaning). (“Somebody please – take my meaning!”)
Winter’s Bone: keep meaning to see it, although it’s another one of those (for-me, Cheryl) nail biting themes.
Barney’s Version: appalled that Paul Giamatti was not nominated, even though I have not seen the movie. I am such a fan of so much of his work, and an even bigger fan of Mordecai Richler, who, if I might brag for a little minute, was very fond of me at Humber. (So there, world! Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.) And oh oh oh – was he handsome. BIG sigh.
Country Strong: haven’t seen it, but was disappointed in the only song I have heard from the track. I think Gwyneth Paltrow has a lovely singing voice, but this was not the best choice, perhaps, for her range.
And that’s all I seem to be able to cull from this long list of films and nominees. I really am out of the loop, and don’t much care in those ways.
I also have to confess that, regardless, this list does not inspire to any great heights. Mind you, that never seems to matter much one way or the other. It’s the munchies I’m after. And the wine. And the company. And the gossip. And the laughter. And the chills I get every time I hear…
And the winner is…
