Apparently the Canadian Tenors – all four of them – are for sale at Roy Thomson Hall on December 22 and 23 at 8PM for only $89.50. I know this is true because this message was sitting in my inbox when I got home from the dentist.
And yet the ad also reads: “Just announced. On sale today at noon!”
So which is it?
And when the advertisers say, “home for the holidays” do they mean home as in Toronto, or my home (for example)?
Are the four tenors being sold separately or as a unit?
And do they know they are being sold, or is this some kind of Christmas surprise?
Do they all come with unbuttoned shirts, as pictured, or are ties included?
Is it first come, first served, or will there be a lottery?
Is there a discount for the short/er one? (I notice he is the only one wearing a neck chain and, with his non-smile, looks a bit like a cross between Peter Falk and Mark Ruffalo.)
Will they sing about the house unbidden, or will their owners have some say in this?
Why are they being sold? Is there something we don’t know but ought to?
Do we have to pay insurance or tax/es on them?
The ad also reads, “The Canadian Tenors have become one of Canada’s most exciting and sought-after exports.” But if they are Canadian, and they are coming to Roy Thomson Hall where they are to be sold, are they now to be considered imports? And if so, from where? Should the headline read instead, Exported Imports Reimported?
Will the owners have rights to the tenors’ hand gestures ?
And is the conveyor belt on which they seem to be standing part of the deal?
Is dry cleaning included? (Of their clothing, silly – not them!)
Anyway, these are just some of the questions that are rolling through my brain, although I see, from looking at the clock, that these have become moot points. It is now 2PM, and I have missed the sale by two hours.
Just my luck.
